Friends…

I have never been popular. I have never had 20 friends. Sure I know lots of people but I can’t go up to any of them and talk about whats really going on in my life.

In year 5 I made a friend, we were inseparable. We were friends until year 8 when we started slipping apart but made the unhealthy decision to stay friends. Our friendship was like cigarettes, you know its unhealthy but don’t want to quit. Year 9 was the year I decided to over come my addiction to this poisonous ¬†relationship. I left her with all her new friends behind me, being in none of the same classes made it easy but our out of school activity’s were the exact same so I was bound to see her at least 3 times a week.

In year 9 I went through 6 friend groups, at every one there were those already made inside jokes, the secrets and lies riddled together by teenage girls. Needless to say I left the year with no one; other than my volleyball team.

There is one person I felt was going to be there for me, she was going through friend stuff and I was in need of someone to talk to. Her and I got close and fast. We would tell each other everything. We made inside jokes and our own little secrets. New years came and her and her friends were close again. The person I thought would be there for me drifted away, we still talk and tell each other everything, well I thought we did.

It turns out people change, those days I would fake being sick just to get away from my fear of being alone were going to happen again.

The truth is I have no one. I know its pathetic but I really don’t

to the person I thought was my life saver, not saying that one thing to me broke me, you will never understand…

 

Sorry about this one. A big rant.

love everyone.

Road Trips…

Being in a car, going somewhere I’ve never been; brings me joy. Just the mystery of what will happen, who will you meet… Being with friends is the best part, being able to share these special moments with people who just brighten your day, and never fail to make you laugh.

Day one is always the best. The car ride, listening to loud music, a new place, getting settled in, and planning the adventures for the days to come.

Day two is like a new beginning. Looking around the new town, getting your first tan while soaking in your new surroundings. That night going on a walk to the beach near the place we stayed. Bringing back childhood memories.

Day three is for adventure. Going to a hidden beach, like a little hide away. Getting sand everywhere from trying to play beach volleyball while not paying full attention. Then going back to the villa and playing cards and pretending we know what we are doing with our lives.

Day four is for hiking to new heights. Going from a gravel road to the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen. From native trees to water falls, making friends along the way (even if they are high)… Then going to castle rock and your mum making new friends, to climb high into the clouds… literally. ¬†Taking cute photos we will never delete and while walking down making jokes we will never forget.

Day five is the saddest. All packed up and ready to leave. Making a few stops on our journey home. Comparing tan lines and recalling our favorite parts.

The tan lines may fade but the memories never will.

Thanks for reading…

Music…

Music is my life. I play guitar, a little piano and I sing. Without music I wouldn’t be able to cope with anything life has thrown at me. Moving to New Zealand with a different accent to what kiwis are used to caused me to get bullied a lot. getting bullied caused me to become very shy and lost within myself.

When I was in year 5 I met this girl we will just call hear Rose. she was my best friend, we lived close to each other and were always with each other. In year 8 we started splitting up, she was hanging with her friends and I was with mine. when her and I split I had no one. i still don’t. everyone is so excited about school starting soon but im not, im petrified. just the thought of the first morning tea not having anywhere to go. the chaos of everyone finding their friends and i will be standing with no where to go.

that’s where music helps me. when im lost i just go to the music rooms. That’s how i get out of classes, not that im trying to get out of class. music is my escape. When i have no one i just go sit somewhere and plug in my headphones.

Having no one to talk to, to gossip with.

Recently I found someone. we will never be able to say we have been friends since kindy. but we will be able to say that we have grown together and that we have learnt a lot through each other. she has her friends but is always so welcoming and I fell like i can actually talk to someone.

what im trying to say is you might feel like you have no one, and that life will never get better. but look around, smile at a stranger try make a friend and don’t give up. try out for a sports team, try something new…

thanks for reading.

Enjoy your life.

Heyy

I’m new to all this so not sure how it goes. Basically im a normal teenager going through everything life throws at me. I was born in Capetown South Africa, which made moving here a blessing but also a curse. I love New Zealand and its beautiful scenery but having all my family in South Africa is hard, Christmas doesn’t feel the same, birthdays involve no calls to grandparents or uncles and aunties.

Life in New Zealand is fun, mums is finally trusting me to stay out of the house when its dark, something kiwis take for granted. But living here has given me a lot of new sight into the world, moving to a country that is the polar opposite to what im used to has helped me make sure i don’t take stuff for granted.

Have an amazing day, don’t forget to smile.

“our love is like the wind, i cant see it but i can feel it…”