I have never been popular. I have never had 20 friends. Sure I know lots of people but I can’t go up to any of them and talk about whats really going on in my life.
In year 5 I made a friend, we were inseparable. We were friends until year 8 when we started slipping apart but made the unhealthy decision to stay friends. Our friendship was like cigarettes, you know its unhealthy but don’t want to quit. Year 9 was the year I decided to over come my addiction to this poisonous relationship. I left her with all her new friends behind me, being in none of the same classes made it easy but our out of school activity’s were the exact same so I was bound to see her at least 3 times a week.
In year 9 I went through 6 friend groups, at every one there were those already made inside jokes, the secrets and lies riddled together by teenage girls. Needless to say I left the year with no one; other than my volleyball team.
There is one person I felt was going to be there for me, she was going through friend stuff and I was in need of someone to talk to. Her and I got close and fast. We would tell each other everything. We made inside jokes and our own little secrets. New years came and her and her friends were close again. The person I thought would be there for me drifted away, we still talk and tell each other everything, well I thought we did.
It turns out people change, those days I would fake being sick just to get away from my fear of being alone were going to happen again.
The truth is I have no one. I know its pathetic but I really don’t
to the person I thought was my life saver, not saying that one thing to me broke me, you will never understand…
Sorry about this one. A big rant.