Im over it…

I’m over putting 100% into someone and not getting at least 50% back. This isn’t just about guys, its about friends as well. I always put so much into everyone and everything. People my age don’t do that. People in general don’t do that.

Have you ever wanted to change something so bad that every night you cry because of it. because same.

I don’t know why im like this and normally people will say ” and I don’t care” but the truth is I do; I care. I have lost so many people because of this. It kills me.

I worry more about what others say and think about me I would change anything and everything. I wore makeup to school; all because someone looked at me the wrong way. Or what I think is the wrong way.

Everybody says “don’t think about what others say about you” but the truth is I have tried, and I cant. Every time some one merely looks at me I over think it and go nuts trying to think up some crazy reason why they looked at me. Even if they didn’t look at me and were just scanning to find someone.

idk im probably crazy.

Valentines day…


Since I have never been in any form of relationship I have never received anything for valentines. Through the years my friends and we always get each other chocolate or a little teddy but nothing of incredible value. This year is going to be very different.

I’m still not sure where I am with friend groups and who likes to hang out with me. Tbh it sucks. I have no one to talk to about my mini dramas, I have no one to gossip to about year 9s thinking they are top notch.

I have no one to talk to about how over guys I am. like seriously guys are annoying, they don’t speak their mind, they don’t say things straight up. If you are a guy reading this go tell your crush you like them. Go tell that annoying chick who keeps asking you out to stop and you don’t like her. Stop beating around the bush. be straight up.

School sucks, seeing people who I haven’t talked to in ages. It breaks me when I cant just go up to them and gossip or cry or laugh.

I’m over school and its only the third week, thank goodness I’m going away for a month so I can get away from this hell hole.